It’s in there somewhere.  Deep.  Covered though it may be by the debris of a spirit long broken, it is there.  The desire, the passion to live and breathe goodness.  Beneath the dust shed by disappointments, below the slivers of splintered faith, the roots of goodness still wait to be fed, still yearn to stretch beyond my own yard and bloom as far as they can reach.

Shovel in hand, I ask, “Where do I begin?” as I fix on the seemingly insurmountable heap of sin that has blanketed the goodness, nearly but not quite having choked the life out of the once flourishing harvest borne out of a small seed planted so long ago.

“It does not matter so much where you begin,” says the still, small voice, “but when you begin.”

And so I begin, first pushing aside small shards of resentment, peeling away layers of self-righteousness.  And so it goes until the soil is renewed.  Again.  Today. And there, right where I left it, right where it has been buried all that time, is the goodness I had long since forgotten was within me.  The goodness that I perhaps coveted and sought from others.  It is not mine to take and keep covered and hidden, tucked away as if it were a treasure that can be stolen.  It is mind to give.  And give.  And give.

My goodness today, a hug wrapped warmly around my beloved at the end of a goodness-starved day, a smile for a stranger with a furrowed brow, a visitor with a broken heart longing to read a word of hope, awaits opportunity to be shared.  Thank goodness there is never a short supply of opportunity.

Be blessed today in the goodness that you seek, in the goodness that you find, and more importantly in the goodness that you share.

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.

2 Peter 1:5-7

This post is a contribution to Bridget Chumbley’s One Word Blog Carnival.  Entrance is free and there are wonderful words of goodness to be found there today…visit and be inspired!

1.  The gift of sight.

I have astigmatism.  Without my glasses, my surroundings can look out of focus and even distorted.  For years, I squinted while watching television or reading a book.  I didn’t even realize how bad my vision was until I got glasses.  I spent that first day with my new vision looking at everything and marveling at how clear everything was.  It was like looking at the world through brand new eyes.

This morning as I prepared for my day, washing the morning dishes and making a mental note to tuck some Proverbs into my heart for the hours of work ahead, I thought about my astigmatism.  Not the astigmatism in my eyes, but in my mind and heart.  I don’t always see situations clearly and often my view of circumstances can easily become blown out of proportion or minimized.  Distorted.  Lately, that is how the vision within me has been, blurry and out of whack. I have been straining to see far ahead and down the road, and completely unable to clearly see the beauty and worth of the treasures that are right in front of me.

A while back, our pastor was speaking about “worship glasses” and how we need to put them on every day to see our world through the eyes of awestruck humility.  We need our worship glasses to see our lives with new vision, praising God for blessings that we may have otherwise overlooked and for what He is doing to prepare us for what is up ahead, beyond the horizon that has yet to come into view.

Somewhere along the line, I misplaced my glasses.  But this morning I found them and put them on.  I am already seeing my circumstances with new clarity.  I began looking through those worship glasses, focusing on those things that are worthy of praise.  The more I looked for things to marvel at with my improved vision, the more I marveled at what I was looking at.  Truly, blessings abound in my life today and everyday, if only I have the right heart, the right vision, to see them.

This is the beginning of my journey into experiencing and participating in Multitude Monday.

We all have gifts and blessings that often get overlooked in the rushing wind that is our lives.  What gifts have you overlooked in your life lately?

I have standing reservations.  I arrive and it’s almost as if I believe there should be a valet at the curb, waiting to greet me.  After all, I’m an heir to the King, am I not?

It’s a routine that has come so naturally for so long that placing my order and having it served to my liking is expected and taken for granted.  “I understand you serve the bottomless bread basket here.  I’ll start with that.  And your best bottle of wine, I hear you are famous for your wine.”  The server at my table is usually quiet.  Though, to be honest, if he were to try to discourage me from asking for a particular item on the menu, I most likely would not be listening.  I’m not always very attentive when placing my order.

It’s a busy place.  Popular to more people than one would imagine.  And it seems that the seating availability is limitless.  So when my order comes back less than what I ordered or sometimes completely different from what I had specified, I try to be understanding.  I do.  But lately, I’ve been a bit gluttonous.  I rattle out my requests, hardly taking a breath between each selection and when it doesn’t arrive in what I feel is an appropriate time, I’ve been prone to complain.  I am ashamed as I think about how I have often demanded to speak with the manager, as if I were the only one he had to tend to at any given moment.

I know what you’re thinking.  Or at least what you should be thinking.  I am terribly demanding and I’d better at least be leaving an incredibly generous tip.  Unfortunately, I have recently realized that yes I am, and no, to my disgrace, I don’t.  What’s worse, the above has not taken place at a posh restaurant or even the deli down the road.  And I’m not ordering dinner.  It is, ashamedly, what I believe my prayer life would look life if made into a scene in either a very bad comedy or a very sad drama.

When did I begin seeing God as the almighty wine steward, ever refreshing my glass, rather than the King of Kings who is worthy to be served and praised?  When did I place myself at the head of the table, snapping my fingers to draw attention to myself and reeling off my requests, whether they be petty and selfish or a genuine heartfelt petition?

I have asked for “bread and wine” and countless other things when there are prayers being said by those who truly know what it is to be needing and hardly allow themselves the luxury of even wanting to want.  Truly, I should be declining the offer to sit and be served.  I should be humbling myself and offering to serve.  “Here am I, send me.”  Truly, there are millions who have far more and far greater needs than I have ever known.

I’m giving up my seat at the head of the table.  It was never my seat to begin with.  It suits Him much better anyway.  And when the words finally come, words He has been longing to hear finally tumble past my lips, I can tell you that the commitment is much more satisfying than any fulfilled request I have ever made.  Here am I, send me.